


Crossing All The Lines

by evilqueenofgallifrey (MayFairy)



Series: The (Secret) Girlfriends of River Song [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Caleera saves River from the Matrix, Doom Coalition spoilers, F/F, Open Relationships, Polyamory, River has a bad case of the soft gay feelings, and helpfully puts her in the TARDIS where her new gal pal is hanging out, things get gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 01:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11071401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayFairy/pseuds/evilqueenofgallifrey
Summary: The 1960's did not prepare Helen Sinclair, in any way, for the complicated business of having developed certain feelings for her friend's future wife.River Song, in turn, is not remotely certain about what to do when she realises that she's smitten for only the second time in her whole life. Which is ridiculous, at her age, frankly, and yet, here she is getting butterflies over one of her husband's old companions, of all the absurd things.Luckily, these things have a way of working themselves out.





	Crossing All The Lines

**Author's Note:**

> The lack of fic for these three is CRIMINAL. I had to fix it. Expect more, following on from this, at some point. 
> 
> This picks up right after Songs of Love and Stop The Clock, for River and Helen respectively.

After she gets the Doctor back to Liv and Helen, River loses track of time. Which is funny, really, because it's never been much of a problem for her before. But then, today is just one of those days. First Gallifrey - _Gallifrey, in the flesh!_ \- and now the Matrix.

The Matrix is unlike anything she's ever seen. And yet, it's more familiar to her than almost anything she's ever encountered. The data, the numbers, all of it. She's the child of a TARDIS. It all fits.

But although she's managed to be impossible on more than one account since being trapped in here, even River Song runs out of tricks eventually.

And so now she waits. If the Doctor and his companions can do as she will always believe they can, and save the universe, then with any luck someone will be able to get her out of the Matrix eventually.

Of course, whether anyone remembers she's in here is another question to consider. The Sonomancer isn't about to do her any favours, surely. She might just have to wait until the Time Lords eventually take a peek inside their Matrix and wonder what a slightly anomalous time traveller with great hair is doing inside it.

That is assuming she can actually survive in here for an extended period of time.

There are far too many uncertainties here for River to be comfortable. She usually rather likes uncertainties, but this is all a bit too out of her control for her liking.

More time passes. Or at least, she thinks it does.

 _River Song_. _So a child of the TARDIS is not all powerful after all._

The voice is the Sonomancer's. Caleera's. Except it isn't. Not quite. It's like… it sounds like how River was, in Berlin, when she was still Melody Pond, technically the same person but _not_.

Is this Caleera as she once was?

"Of course not," River says, "but I gave you one hell of a fight."

 _That you did_. Caleera actually sounds amused. Definitely not the Sonomancer. _There is not much time, Professor Song. My end approaches._

"What's happened? You're… different, to before."

_The Doctor helped me see the truth. The truth about Padrac, which you tried to make me realise. I am sorry that I did not listen._

"Love can be blinding," River says sympathetically. "I have to work hard to make sure it doesn't happen to me, sometimes. With the one I love, I can't afford it."

_I have seen your life, Professor Song, or at least the parts of it that have not been engulfed by the destruction I am now fighting to hold back. You are important. You cannot stay here._

"You're going to get me out?"

_Most of my power is elsewhere. Helen Sinclair needs it, to save us all. The whole universe. But in the last moment, I should have enough strength left to make a transfer._

"Transfer? Where?"

_To the only place there is a strong connection to get you through. There is no guarantee you will survive a single moment after you arrive, but if you stay here, you will almost certainly be overwhelmed by the Matrix._

"I hate guarantees," River says, forcing a smile. "Almost none of the ones in my life have been any fun. I'll take risks and a surprise any day."

_In that case, prepare yourself._

"This place you're sending me, where is it, exactly?" River asks.

No answer comes. Caleera is elsewhere, it seems. With Helen? River isn't quite sure how Helen could save the entire universe, but with Caleera's power, anything is possible, surely. She hopes that means that Helen is alright. She has to believe that the Doctor will be, because he always is, but Helen and Liv… there's no way to be sure.

She's gotten _far_ too attached to them. Her girls. Liv, the fierce one, always determined, never giving up. Helen, wonderful and clever Helen, still discovering all of her potential, so afraid she's not measuring up, not realising she already has.

They both rather like River too much, too, in their own ways. Liv, who doesn't trust her, but who has never been shy about admitting how attractive she finds her. Helen who is the opposite, who looked into her eyes and just _believed_.

It's funny, that just as she pictures Helen's face, River's entire world flashes pure white, and then suddenly that face is in front of her again, albeit from a different angle.

Helen is lying unconscious next to another familiar figure. The Eleven.

They're in a familiar white room, with a hexagonal console. A TARDIS.

River feels all shaky, and wrong, which is to be expected after being unexpectedly hurled through - well, whatever it was, the vortex, or whatever is around the Matrix, who knows?

Still. She's a survivor and that part of her brain is kicking in. The Eleven. He's far too close to that staser, even if he is unconscious.

River moves to grab it, and sure enough, as she does so, both Helen and the Eleven start to stir. River reaches into her pockets and grabs her favourite pair of handcuffs, before ducking down quickly and cuffing the Eleven's hands behind his back.

Or rather, trying to. Even half awake, he reacts faster than she anticipates. But she's River Song, and so she's faster than _he_ expects too.

The crunch of his nose breaking when she punches him really is the most satisfying thing. The second most satisfying being the sound of the cuffs clicking into place when she finally does get his hands behind his back.

" _You_?!" He snarls. "Where the hell did _you_ come from?"

"Caleera sends her regards," River replies, before punching him again for good measure, hard enough to knock him out, at least for a while.

"... River?"

That's all it takes for almost all thoughts of the Eleven to disappear. The sound of Helen's voice, so quiet. River turns around and sees Helen, pushing herself into a sitting position, watching River with wide, confused eyes. She's as pale as a sheet.

"Helen," River says, moving over to her, worry twisting in her gut. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know, I-" Helen frowns. "I thought I was - I'm alive?"

River laughs a little. "Yes, it seems so."

"And… _you're_ here."

"I was in the Matrix, but Caleera got me out. Brought me here, it seems, wherever here is," River says, looking around. "Whose TARDIS is this?"

"I think it's just some battle TARDIS," Helen murmurs. "I don't know, my head hurts. I can barely think. She was so loud. Caleera. But we did it, I think. We stopped Padrac. We… were going to save everyone? Did we?"

River tries to sense the future, the temporal distortion. Her time sense is very limited, but it's enough to know that the huge gaping horizon of emptiness is gone.

"You did, Helen, you did," River tells her, and Helen lets out a little disbelieving laugh.

"I did?" Her voice is small, with a spark of hope.

River nods, smiling warmly at her. "I always knew you would do something amazing. I should have known you'd go the extra mile and save the whole universe. Us Badminton Ladies always bring our best game, don't we?"

Helen laughs again, eyes starry. "You really believed I'd do something like this?" Her gaze moves to the Eleven before River can answer. "Oh, you've tied him up. Thank goodness for that. I completely forgot about him. He shot me, you know. Would have killed me, if not for Caleera."

"We can worry about him later," River promises. "For now, we should probably find out where we - are you alright?"

Helen is even paler now, and looks like her arms are struggling to hold her up.

"You know, I really don't feel very good," Helen murmurs, and River has to reach out and hold her tight to stop her falling back to the TARDIS floor.

"It's alright, I've got you," River tells her softly. "You've had a big day, no wonder you're not feeling quite yourself."

"Your hair smells nice," Helen mumbles, since the hair in question is falling all over her head, because it's been running wild since River took the wimple off to reveal herself to Padrac.

River chuckles. "Thank you, dear. Now come on, there must be an infirmary on this ship, let's check that you're alright."

She manages to hook the staser into her belt, and then stand up with Helen in her arms. The ship's computer tells her that they're spiralling through the vortex at the moment, which doesn't sound ideal, but if it's not been an urgent problem yet, River will bet it can wait until she's checked that Helen will be alright.

The path to the infirmary is laid out clear enough in the ship's log, and it only takes River about five minutes to get there. Helen is barely conscious in her arms, making incoherent noises against River's neck.

Once laying Helen out on the bed, River does her best to calibrate the tech in the infirmary to human biology, and does a scan. To her relief, there doesn't seem to be anything _wrong_ with Helen as such. Her body is just completely worn out, and needs rest.

Without knowing exactly what happened, River has to say that getting a taste of a power like the Sonomancer's absolutely would wear a human like Helen out, and that Helen might be lucky to even be alive, really. .

Helen has fallen asleep, so River heads back to the console room, and finds that there are actually functions on board this TARDIS - it's a battle TARDIS, as if today weren't full of enough treats already - for trapping powerful prisoners.

So, River kicks the Eleven awake, marches him off to the cells, and ignores the graphic but unimpressive threats his sixth self tries to make against her.

Something involving her eyeballs, and plucking them out. Amateur.

Next order of business? Getting them out of the vortex, and into normal space. It's a good thing River is one hell of a TARDIS pilot, and that this battle TARDIS seems to work more or less the same as a regular one.

It's not easy. This TARDIS has taken one hell of a beating, and the vortex itself still seems to be recovering from the whole ordeal brought on by Padrac and the Sonomancer. But eventually, they come out into normal space, some big vast nothingness that is comforting to River. She likes her life loud, but even _she_ needs some peace and quiet sometimes, and now is definitely one of those times, with everything that has been going on.

Besides, she has Helen to look after, until she can find out what happened to the Doctor and Liv. Not to mention she has to work out how to get Helen back to them without the Doctor seeing her again.

Once setting the TARDIS to drift, River heads off to find the wardrobe. It's fairly disappointing in comparison to the Doctor's almost endless one, but there's enough clothes from different eras and planets - for the purposes of blending in, she supposes - that she can get a workable outfit of leggings and a long sleeved shirt, and boots, of course.

The mirror is too modest for her tastes, but it gives her enough of a look at herself to be satisfied.

Upon returning to the infirmary, River pulls up a chair beside the bed where Helen is resting, and starts a new entry in her diary. There's a lot to cover, so much. The Doctor, and Helen, and Liv, and then Gallifrey and the Matrix and the Time Lords and how all of that made her feel so strange, and yet so at home.

She writes pages and pages, and finds herself missing her own Doctor, after all of this. It's all been marvelously exciting, but everything it would be nice to be able to find her husband and feel at home for a while.

It doesn't look like that'll be an option, just yet. Which is a shame, because River really could use some physical contact right now.

Her eyes move to Helen. Soft, clever, and quite possibly besotted with River. Now, more than ever, an incredible temptation.

River enjoys the company of other people. The number of people she genuinely likes, in their entirety, is much smaller, if only because she is so adept at seeing through people. She might enjoy the company of psychopaths like herself and laugh with them about the awful things they've done, but they're not the people she considers her friends, in most cases.

As someone fighting to never be the monster she was created to be, River is usually only ever truly drawn to people who are inherently _good_ in a way she knows she never quite will be, but quietly sometimes wishes she could be.

People like the Doctor, and those he surrounds himself with. He only ever takes the best, after all. It's not a surprise that so many of them are people she wishes she could have for her own circle of friends.

And then, of course, there are the even rarer ones, who capture her hearts in some way. Clara and Benny are two of the strongest examples, friends with flirting that became a bit more along the way (and, alright, perhaps there were wedding ceremonies involved, but River just enjoys a good wedding, these days).

It's somewhat alarming to realise that Helen is different yet again. Yes, River would like to hope she could consider her a friend, but with Clara and Benny it was all fun and adventure and enjoying how frightfully clever and daring they all were. With Helen, it's softer. Warmer. Much closer to how she feels about the Doctor than anything else, though that will always be in an entirely different league to any of her other relationships.

Helen isn't sure of herself, not yet, and that isn't usually River's type at all. But here River is, wishing desperately she could do something to show Helen just how special she is.

"What am I going to do with you, Helen Sinclair?" River asks softly. She's talking more to herself than anything else.

She remembers how Helen had watched her when they had been traipsing through time looking for the eighth piece of the Doomsday Chronometer. When she had thought River wasn't looking. The admiration shining in her eyes, the way they lit up as she realised how fun being mischievous with River Song could be.

Helen might be smitten. The worst part? River might actually be just as smitten in return, and how ridiculous is that? She hasn't been smitten since she was a young thing, barely regenerated. She's too old for this sort of thing again, surely.

River watches Helen sleep, for a while, learning the lines of her face and the exact way that her hair is mussed from a hectic god knows how many days.

She doesn't realise she's fallen asleep herself until the sound of Helen's movement wakes her.

"Where am I?" Helen asks, voice clouded with drowsiness.

River shakes her head to wake herself up. "The infirmary of the battle TARDIS. We're just drifting in real space now, I got us out of the vortex."

"Did you? Oh. That's good, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is, I believe."

Helen leans her head against the pillow and lets out a sigh. "God, I'm exhausted. How long was I asleep?"

"I've no idea, I think I fell asleep too," River admits, with a sheepish smile. "But you're allowed to be exhausted, you had the power of the Sonomancer inside you, it's bound to wear a girl out. You saved the universe, Helen. I think you've earned as many naps as you need."

Helen smiles back minutely, before something flashes through her eyes. "Where are the Doctor and Liv? Are they still on Gallifrey? Do you know if they're alive?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry," River says. "But I can't feel any changes to my timeline, yet, so that's a good sign, at least."

"Because if something bad had happened to the Doctor, it would change his future, with you," Helen says slowly, and River nods.

"We can try and contact him, but I need to work out a plan for how to get you back to him without him seeing me. I don't have my disguise anymore. But I promise, I will get you back to him."

Helen nods. "I trust you, River. Maybe I shouldn't, maybe it's stupid, Liv certainly seemed to think so… but I do."

River reaches out to grasp Helen's hand. "I promise you, Helen, I've never told you any lie of any significance. Maybe a tiny one here or there, if only because it's a bad habit of mine, but about anything important, I swear I've always been honest with you. More honest than I should have been, perhaps."

"Alright," Helen says, looking reassured, and giving her a sleepy smile. "I'm glad."

"Can I get you anything? Food, maybe? When was the last time you ate?"

Helen stops, and looks vaguely horrified. "You know, I have no idea. I might have eaten while we were stuck in the vortex, there was food in that pod, but-" She sighs. "I don't know. My head is so fuzzy, still."

"Why don't I see if I can find us something?" River asks. "I'll be right back." Helen nods, and River feels her eyes follow her on her way out.

River returns ten minutes later with a small bowl of cubes from the food machine, in many different flavours that seemed close to what Helen would have on Earth.

"What are those?" Helen asks warily.

"They're from a food machine," River says, sitting back down in the chair by Helen's bedside. "Weird texture, but they taste just fine. All sorts of flavours." Helen takes a couple, and puts one in her mouth only for her eyebrows to shoot up.

"This tastes like roast! Beef or lamb, or something close," Helen says, astounded. "But like you say, such a strange texture. Oh, this is bizarre."

River laughs as Helen tries another cube, and makes an uncertain face.

"It tastes like unsalted boiled potatoes," Helen tells her, and River grins while chewing on a cube that tastes like an ice cream sundae.

"I'd count your blessing they taste like anything familiar, given that this is all Time Lord technology," River says.

"That's a good point."

They continue laughing over the food cubes, and it's heartening to see some of the weariness fade from Helen just as it seeps out of River. They're lighter for it, and it's _good_.

"God, I can't remember the last time I laughed so much," Helen says. "It's been so _mad_ , all of this stuff with the Eleven and the Time Lords and the doom of the universe. We haven't had enough time to just stop, and relax. And now it's like… for the first time since I met the Doctor, since I got dragged into this madness, I can just… breathe."

"Life with the Doctor can be like that," River says, smiling.

"And I love it," Helen says, quickly. "I really, really do. But it's also… a lot."

"Yes, it is, rather."

"I feel so out of my depth, a lot of the time. At the museum, people might have been treating me like I wasn't capable, but at least I knew I was. Out here, amongst all this…" Helen sighs. "I don't know. The Doctor is… the Doctor, and Liv's been with him so much longer, and she's from the future, so she knows all of these things without even trying, and then there's me. And I just… I keep getting things wrong, or it feels like I am. They might take it back afterwards, but the Doctor and Liv sometimes say things, like I'm stupid, or-"

"I'm sure they don't mean it, you've all been under a lot of pressure," River says to her gently.

"I know, I know," Helen lets out a long breath. She gives River a funny little smile. "I just realised… you might be the first person in all of this who's never made me feel stupid. Not even for a moment."

River reaches out to brush some of Helen's hair behind her ear. "That's because you're brilliant, Helen. And no matter how stressed, I only ever snap at idiots. The Doctor can't always say the same, I'm afraid."

Helen bites her lip. "How do you always… make me feel like I could do absolutely anything? Be anything?"

"Because you can," River says, letting the back of her fingers stroke Helen's cheek as her hand falls down her face, making Helen inhale a little more sharply than usual. "I promise."

Helen holds her gaze for a few moments, a quiet longing in her eyes that confirms everything River has suspected, and then she sits up, leaning out of River's reach. River quickly takes her hand back, trying to not take the rejection personally, and reminding herself that Helen is from the 1960's. Of course she isn't necessarily comfortable with this.

 _This isn't a good idea,_ a part of her warns, but most of her ignores it.

"Do you want to sleep for a bit longer, or do you feel like going for a bit of a walk?" River asks Helen. "There must be something for us to do on this TARDIS. A library with things to read, perhaps."

Helen looks torn, in more ways than one. "I think I'll sleep a bit longer. I'm still so exhausted."

"Alright, sweetie. You get some rest. You can just shout for me when you're up, or else I can make sure I'm here when you wake up, if you like?" River asks.

"Where's the Eleven?"

"Locked up in a holding cell, you don't need to worry about him, I promise."

"I'm sure I can find you, then, when I wake up."

River smiles, and touches her hand for all of a moment. "Alright then. Sweet dreams, Helen."

* * *

River finds the library of the battle TARDIS a decent enough way to spend the next six hours, even if the volumes are fairly dry. It's in her nature to greedily seek out as much information on Gallifrey and the Time Lords and TARDISes that she can find. She can't wait to tell her Doctor about all of this.

"Hey."

Helen's voice startles River out of her book about Gallifreyan law, and River looks up to see Helen leaning against a bookshelf, watching her.

"Bit smaller than the Doctor's library," Helen says.

"Yes, well, the Doctor's more of a collector. His wardrobe is much more impressive too."

"God, I'd kill for some clean clothes, I've been wearing these for far too long. Is there anything good in this TARDIS' wardrobe?"

River shrugs. "I found this, I'm sure we can find you something."

They venture to the meagre wardrobe, and Helen is happy enough with a pair of plain trousers and a blue blouse, and sighs happily. They return to the library, if only because it's the only room so far where River has found an even half comfortable seat that fits more than one person.

They sit in silence for a while, neither apparently knowing quite what to say.

"Are you alright?" River asks.

Helen's fingers are knotted in her lap. "I'm worried about Liv. It seems like that the Doctor is alright, but Liv's only human, anything could have happened, and _god_ I don't know what I'd do if something happened to her, River, she's the best friend I've ever had, she's so _incredible_ , and the thought of something happening to her is just-"

"Is she more than just a friend?" River asks, curiously. She hasn't spent enough time with Liv and Helen when they're together, but she is now struck with a vivid memory of Liv's rage upon thinking the Eleven had killed Helen. The memory of having to shout at Liv to not act rashly in the haze of her anger.

Helen blinks at her, looking alarmed, and then panicky. "What do you mean?"

River lifts an eyebrow. "I mean… are you in love with her?"

"What _is_ it with you and she?" Helen asks, shaking her head and laughing nervously. "Both of you just assuming I'm somehow _involved_ with the other, like that's so plausible, like it's so normal - then again, it's the future, maybe it is-"

"Two women loving each other, you mean," River says slowly. "In terms of romance, or sex."

Helen's cheeks flush deep red. "Well, yes. I mean, can you really expect me to believe that in your time, that sort of thing is all fine and dandy-"

"You'll believe in spaceships and Time Lords and temporal distortions, but not that it could be normal for two people who aren't a man and a woman to love each other without social ostracization?" River asks skeptically.

Helen looks more embarrassed. "Well, when you put it like that-" She shakes her head. "I don't know. I just… I don't know. Maybe it's just that it… sounds too good to be true."

"It's alright, Helen," River tells her, voice soft, reaching out to put her hand on Helen's arm. "How you feel about women, it's okay. It's more than okay. It's a wonderful thing."

"Is it really so obvious?" Helen asks, face crumbling.

"Only to me, and because I'm very good at noticing when someone looks at me the way you have," River says, with a smile, and Helen looks at her with surprise, her distress disappearing a moment before she blushes. "Which doesn't have to mean anything, you know, I know I'm rather nice to look at."

Helen smiles a little as she glances at River. "Nice is an understatement. You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever met."

"Thank you." River lets her fingers brush Helen's arm just below where her sleeve ends, and feels Helen shiver at the touch. "For what it's worth, I think you're rather lovely too."

"Really?" Helen ducks her head. "I'd never think that anyone like you would look at me twice."

River shuffles closer, and tilts Helen's chin up with her hand, forcing the other woman to look at her. "I've told you, Helen. You're brilliant. Brilliant and lovely and _so very good_. You kept my secret, Helen. You looked into my eyes when I was a stranger to you, and trusted your instincts. Trusted me."

"How could I not?" Helen asks, a little breathlessly. "I couldn't help it, I just… believed you."

River's hand, the one that isn't still holding Helen's chin, moves to cup the side of her face. "I know. But most people that I meet are far too cynical for that, or else just stupidly naive. You're something else altogether. Something special."

"I still don't feel special," Helen says. "Even after everything."

"And that's just it," River murmurs, "I don't know if I'm going to be able to walk away from you until I've been able to make you feel like that. You deserve to feel special, Helen."

Helen stares back at her, eyes intent. "I feel special, when I'm with you."

River leans in and kisses her gently. Helen goes still for a moment, before kissing her back, hesitantly at first but then with eagerness. It's absurd how River's hearts leap in her chest, and a part of her wants to run and hide from these feelings that are just a bit more intense than she'd like, but the rest of her is caught up in the soft sweetness of Helen's uncertain mouth.

At least, until Helen scrambles back from her like a shot, eyes wide and panicked as she wipes at her mouth.

"Wait, I - what am I doing?!" Helen yelps. "If you've never lied to me about anything important, you're the Doctor's _wife_! I can't be doing this with you, this is… this is adultery, if you really love him, how can you be like this with me? I-"

"Helen, it's alright," River says, voice still gentle, cursing herself for forgetting another big part of the older Earth approach to relationships.

"No, it's not," Helen replies. "Oh god, I feel sick, I-"

"Helen, my marriage isn't a monogamous one," River says frankly, making Helen blink at her. "Polyamory is very common in the future. I love the Doctor, more than anyone in the universe. But we're both far too complex creatures to be able to restrain ourselves to caring about a singular person."

Helen says nothing, just listens and stares at her, clearly trying to get her head around the idea.

"We both meet a lot of people," River continues. "And sometimes, one of us meets another person that we're attracted to, in some way. A person we're drawn to. And there's nothing wrong with that. We both know where we stand with each other. Our hearts are big enough that we can accommodate more than enough love for multiple people. In my experience, it's not actually possible to run out of love to give."

"Oh," Helen says, mildly. "That… that actually sounds quite reasonable."

"I understand if this… whatever this is between us isn't something you want, Helen. But please don't feel as though any part of it is wrong. The only reason anything between us would be wrong is if you didn't want any of it."

Helen licks her lips, and then lets out a tiny nervous laugh. "Believe me, that is… not the problem, here."

River smiles at her, a little relieved, her hearts giving a little hopeful skip that makes her want to punch herself in the face. "I'm glad to hear it."

"Can I…" Helen hesitates. "Can I kiss you, then?"

Her uncertainty is endearing, as is her politeness, when River has encountered so many who kiss first and ask later - and admittedly yes, she herself is often more like that than she ought to be - and it strikes up a burning warmth in River's chest.

"I'd like it very much if you did," River tells her.

Helen leans in, slowly. Unsure. Her fingers trace the line of River's cheekbone, and then the curve of her lips. Then she kisses River, lips soft and earnest, and River cradles her face in her hand, stroking her hair while kissing Helen back.

Slowly, the kiss gets deeper, Helen pulling River closer by the fabric of her shirt and moaning against River's mouth, River's tongue against Helen's lips with a slow-burning hunger.

Somehow, Helen ends up in River's lap, River's hands running over her back over the fabric of her blouse and then underneath it, and Helen shivers in her arms before kissing her with a new eagerness. Her hands are lost in River's hair and River feels herself melting at the soft, warm touch of this wonderful human woman, so difficult to the cool touch of her Time Lord husband.

Just as River's hands start wandering around the front of Helen's shirt, Helen breaks their kiss and leans her forehead against River's as her hands bring River's back to her hips.

"No, I'm sorry, I don't trust myself," Helen says, breathing hard. "I know, realistically, I'm not ready for… _that_. I've done it once, with a man, and it was rubbish, and getting my head around the fact that I can do this with women and no one with sense will shame me for it is… a lot."

"It's alright, darling, I understand," River tells her softly, her hand stroking Helen's hair as they stay there, Helen in River's lap and their foreheads resting together, eyes shut. "I don't want you to ever, ever, feel pressured to do anything you're not ready for or don't want to do. I won't adore you any less."

"You adore me?" Helen asks, with a disbelieving little laugh.

"Far more than is probably sensible, what with the life I lead," River admits. "But I'm not complaining."

They stay there like that, resting and kissing and just _being_ , in a moment of quiet that River had been craving so desperately.

"Alright, not to sound like a spoilsport, but if you're the future wife of one of my best friends, and we can't let him see you, how the hell is anything between us going to work?" Helen asks, pulling back and looking at River with a little frown.

"Well, I can't promise you a conventional relationship, Helen," River says. "I can't really promise you anything, except that I am… rather enamoured with you, and that I'm willing to put in the effort to somehow try and make something between us work, whatever that might be."

Helen holds her gaze, considering this, and nods. "Alright. I can… I can work with that."

"Early days," River says, with a slightly nervous smile. "I've never really done this, you know."

"Done what?"

"Courted anyone in the right order. The Doctor was… complicated."

"Courted?" Helen laughs. "What are we in, Medieval London?"

River flushes. "Well, what else would you have me call it? I know _I'm_ not much of a lady, but I make one hell of a dashing hero when I make an effort, don't you think? Almost as much as my husband."

Helen grins. "You do, rather. Even if you were wearing a nun outfit for a lot of it."

"That was fun. I felt so naughty," River says. "Downright sacrilegious in the _best_ way."

"Why does it not surprise me that you get your kicks from rule breaking?" Helen asks, with a roll of her eyes that is definitely a bit fond.

"What else is a girl supposed to do for fun?" River asks innocently. "Besides kissing other pretty girls, of course."

They're just getting back to the kissing when the ship jolts, not hard enough to send them flying but enough that River has to grab Helen's waist rather hard to stop her falling from River's lap.

"What was that?" Helen asks, worried.

"Could be another TARDIS docking," River says. "But the real question is, is it from Gallifrey, or is it the Doctor? We'd better go and find out."

"But he can't see you-"

"I'll be able to leave in a hurry, don't you worry about that," River tells her, punching coordinates into her vortex manipulator in preparation. "Come on, let's move."

They get up, and River pauses to tidy up Helen's hair a bit, making Helen blush. After that they move through the corridors, and sure enough, they hear the voices of Liv and the Doctor.

"They found you," River says with a smile. "Alright, I need to go."

"When will I see you again?" Helen asks. " _How_ will I see you again?"

"Leave that with me, darling, I'll find you," River tells her, and presses her against the wall for one last, very thorough kiss. "Take care. Of yourself, and them."

With that, she hits a button and comes out in her room at Luna University, where she collapses on her bed and tries to take in all that's happened. Time to get the diary out again.

* * *

The empty console room isn't a good sign. Liv won't give up on Helen, not unless her dead body is in Liv's arms and even _then_ she'd still give it everything she possibly could, but… the empty console room isn't a good sign.

Liv has lost so many people. She should be prepared, but she never is. _Not another friend. Not Helen. Not_ her.

"If she's not here, then where is she?" Liv asks.

"I don't know," the Doctor says. "I told you, Liv, there was never any guarantee in this-"

"Doctor. Liv."

They both look to the doorway that leads out of the console room, and see Helen standing there. Alive. Unhurt. Breathless and somehow _alight_ with something.

"Helen," Liv breathes, a weight on her chest lifting and letting her breathe fully for the first time in hours. "We thought you were-"

"I know, I thought so too, for a minute there," Helen says, and then she's hurrying towards Liv, and Liv is hugging her fiercely, resisting the urge to cry because _good god she had been so scared_. "Are you two both alright? I couldn't be sure, I was so worried-"

"We are, now that we know that _you_ are," the Doctor says.

Helen and Liv break apart their hug, just staring at each other. Liv feels odd, like she can't quite believe that Helen is actually alive. Helen, who now has a rather peculiar expression on her face.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Liv asks.

Helen gives her a funny little smile, her focus on Liv, but not quite her eyes. "Yes, I - I absolutely am, I promise, I just-"

Before Liv knows what's happening, Helen has surged forward and taken Liv's face in her hands, kissing Liv firmly, much to Liv's utter bewilderment.

"Well, then," the Doctor says, sounding similarly surprised and not half awkward.

Liv isn't quite sure what's going on, but the reality of the matter is that Helen is kissing her, and if she's being _completely_ honest, maybe kissing Helen is something she's thought about at least a couple of times but absolutely no more than ten, and surely it would be rude to not kiss back?

Liv holds onto Helen's shirt and kisses her back until she pulls away a few moments later.

"I'm sorry," Helen says, breathlessly, "I probably should have asked, it's just, well, it's been one hell of a day, and it just sort of seemed the right thing to do because if I'm being completely honest, Liv, I think you're all sorts of wonderful."

Liv feels embarrassed, feels her cheeks warming. "Oh. Well, thanks. I..." She takes a deep breath. "I think you're rather wonderful too."

"And I think you're _both_ immensely wonderful," the Doctor says, beaming, only to falter when they both give him incredulous looks. "Not that I'm looking to, you know." He coughs. "Anyway! Helen, not to disturb this rather lovely moment, but I need to know where the Eleven is."

"Oh, in a holding cell, a bit down the corridor," Helen tells him, casually.

The Doctor and Liv lift their eyebrows at her.

"I woke up first, I had the advantage," Helen says, shrugging.

The Doctor considers this, and seems to accept it for the moment. "Alright, well, that was incredibly lucky." He moves to the console and taps a few buttons before looking at the screen. "Ah, yes, there we go. Well done, Helen!"

He claps her on the shoulder as he goes past, and disappears down the corridor, leaving Helen and Liv alone.

"So… is this… are we…" Liv purses her lips. "You should probably know that I'm rubbish at this sort of thing."

Helen just grins. "I'm sure we'll work something out. Early days." Then she makes a face. "Also, there's probably some things I should tell you, but those can wait for another day. Right now I'd rather focus on enjoying the fact that we're all alive."

"Works for me," Liv says, shrugging.

Helen takes her hand and smiles at her, in that way that warms Liv all the way down to her toes because there's just something so _bright_ and _warm_ about Helen, soft like sunlight in the late afternoon.

It's the kind of thing that the Liv from before she met the Doctor again would have never believed, that she could be this _hopeful_ about the future. That she could have friends like this, someone who makes her stomach do little somersaults like Helen does.

"So, how _did_ you get the Eleven into a holding cell?" Liv asks. "Because it all sounded a bit too simple, to me."

Helen just laughs, and flushes. "Well. That's a bit complicated, actually..."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please let me know what you thought, I haven't written River properly in a while and obviously all the others are new territory too. 
> 
> And let me know if you'd be interested in more of these three!


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